For a long time, I thought I was straight so when I made the discovery that I wasn't, it was a pretty big deal for me. I came out to my closest friend as bisexual and I remember she asked me how I knew. I told her I had a crush on a girl from one of my after school classes. She looked doubtful but I could tell she didn't want to hurt my feelings. A week or two later, she asked me if I still had a crush on the girl. I told her I didn't like that girl anymore, she looked at me and told me, "Oh, yeah. It was probably just a phase".
The crazy thing is that, I actually believed that for a month or so, then I realized that it WASN'T a phase, and that sentence hurt to remember. It still hurts today, two years later. She continues today to be one of my closest, most supportive friends, and I love her like a sister, and I know that she is more educated now and would NEVER say anything like that, but I can't help to relive that memory, because "It's just a phase," is one of the most painful sentences for a person coming out (especially bi, queer, and pan people) to hear. When I first came out I fully believed that was true and I was far more attracted to men than women but I'm the opposite now. Even some of the most progressive, educated people can make the mistake of calling sexual orientation/gender identity a phase. For everyone's future reference, if someone comes out to you, the best thing to say is: THAT’S OKAY!
*Anonymous story has been edited for names and typos.
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